Her Lion and Her Wolf
by khaleesiofmischief
Summary: She may be married, but Jaime Lannister is the only man Cersei wants. A secret affair between a passionate sister and a jealous brother is better than a marriage with a cold lord of Winterfell, but it can be destructive...Title and summary suck, but I hope the story doesn't...AU.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Cersei knew that sex gives pleasure to the people engaged in the act. She couldn't feel it, though. Maybe it was the fact that she had given up her maidenhood that night. Maybe the fact that it hurt did not allow her to feel good. When she looked at her husband, however, she knew that this wasn't the reason. Eddard Stark's grey eyes were cold as his home, Winterfell, and his few kisses tasted of duty. He thrust inside her only to release his seed inside her and put his baby inside her belly one day.

_Think of Jaime_, she told herself. Her brother was the mirror image of her and the only man she had ever wanted. Unfortunately, they couldn't have sex, because she might get pregnant. But, still, there were other ways. He fucked her with his fingers or his tongue. And, of course, she rewarded him by taking his impressive cock in her hand or in her mouth.

The memories of hot moments between her and her twin flowed her mind and made her moan. Ned Stark started moving faster, and Cersei realized that Jaime was away. She wanted to touch herself, to give herself the pleasure that her husband would not give her, but she knew that it was inappropriate and would wound Stark's honor and manhood.

Eddard Stark released himself inside her with a powerful thrust and a rich groan. Quite unexpectedly, Cersei moaned. The sound was so wild and primitive. It actually turned her on. But before she could do anything, her husband was finished, withdrew and rolled to the side. Cersei felt empty, unsatisfied. She felt sore and sticky. She felt lobely.

She was looking at the ceiling, but she could feel her husband's eyes on her. Eddard Stark was a good and honourable man, but he was cold. She had been told that she would have married King Robert if Lyanna Stark weren't alive. Cersei would have liked that. The King was a passionate man, a man who knew how to live his life. Her life companion was the Hand of the King, though. She would have to deal with it.

"Did it hurt much?" Eddard asked.

It had hurt more than she ever thought possible. Jaime was always good with his tongue and he had never pressed his fingers too far in. He only gave her pleasure. Eddard Stark, however, had broken her maidenhead, hurting her and making her bleed.

She looked at her lord husband and smiled to him like a proper lady. "I barely felt any pain, my lord", she told him. "I am just a little sore right now and I can't move."

He nodded and stroked her cheek for a heartbeat. He covered himself with a blanket and delivered himself to sweet sleep. Cersei's eyelids finally closed well past the hour of the wolf.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

She felt a hand on her thigh. At first Cersei thought that she was dreaming, but the hand grew insistent. It moved to her inner thigh, then to her cunt. She winced and opened her eyes.

Eyes identical to hers was what she saw. Her twin was there, sitting on the bed, next to her. Jaime looked even more handsome and more beautiful in the sunlight. His hair glowed like real gold. His eyes were bright. He looked as if he a halo formed around his head. He was holy by day and sinner by night.

"Good morning", he said.

Cersei took his hand and put it on her breast instead, right where her heart was beating. Jaime's fingers curled around it, but he looked a little confused.

"Did he hurt you?" he asked.

She wanted to say that he had. She wanted to say that Eddard Stark was a cruel man and enjoyed causing pain to others. Then, Jaime would kill him and they would leave King's Landing together. But what good would that be? People would call them murderers, traitors, foul. They would want their heads on spikes. Cersei did not want her head removed. Nor her twin's.

"Lord Stark is a dutiful and honorable man", she said finally. "He wouldn't hurt me. It's just that losing my maidenhood hurt and now I'm sore."

Jaime didn't say a word. He merely focused his eyes on his sister. Cersei felt as if he was stripping her of her own skin until she was nothing but bones, which soon turned into dust. Jaime could read her like an open book. She hated him for that. She didn't want anyone to know her that well. That took the element of surprise away from her. That could be destructive if you had powerful enemies.

Jaime nodded, convinced that her words were true. "I don't think he likes me", he said finally.

Cersei wasn't surprised. The Starks were always cold, unless it came to family. Jaime had nothing to do with Ned Stark's family. He was Cersei's family. He was Cersei's everything.

"Are you sure he didn't hurt you? Because if he did, I'll kill him."

She would have expected nothing less. But he would be a great fool if he did it. Ned Stark was no peasant that would be missed by few and forgotten soon. He was the Hand of the King, the man who had helped the King take the Iron Throne. Plus, the King loved him. If Jaime killed him, he would suffer.

"He didn't hurt me, sweet brother", she assured him. "It's just that…he's ice and I'm fire. And no matter how close I get to him, he won't melt. He's too cold for someone like me."

"And what about me?" Jaime teased, playing with her nipple.

She didn't say a word. She just smiled and kissed him. Words were not necessary. They were twins, they were the same. They felt the same. His hungry kiss proved just that. They belonged together. They had come into this world together. No one could separate them. They weren't supposed to be separated.

The kiss deepened, and Cersei felt as if her brother would swallow her whole. Or, maybe, she would swallow him. She had great power on him. She was a woman. What she had between her legs had great power on every man.

When they both needed to breathe, Cersei broke the kiss. She stroked Jaime's hair. So soft. So alive. Lannister gold. Just like hers. This was the perfect man for her.

"Why are you here anyway?" she asked him.

"Now that Robert is the new King, the small council has a lot of work. Lord Stark doesn't want you to be lonely. I don't serve him, but this is a very pleasant task", he replied with a smile.

So Lord Eddard Stark did not want her to be lonely and had sent Jaime to her. How nice of him. Surely he wouldn't have acted like that if Cersei was a man. She was a woman, though. She had been taught to smile and sing and please and curtsy. No one had ever put a sword in her hand. No one had ever given her the chance to defend herself.

"Well, then you better keep me good company", she said with a devilish grin.

The same grin appeared on Jaime's face. He leaned in, and his hand moved to her private parts. Cersei, however, put a finger on his soft lips and stopped him. Jaime looked puzzled.

"Not today, sweet brother", she told him, the grin still painted on her face. "I'm sore, remember?"

Jaime nodded, but he was obviously disappointed. She couldn't fight, she couldn't handle a sword, but oft times she could be more powerful than men. _Men think with their cocks_, she commented. _Jaime is like me, part of me, but he's a man_. And she loved the power she had on him as a woman.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The water was warm and soothing. Cersei felt so tranquil and peaceful. The water caressed her like only a lover would, embracing her body and touching her everywhere. It was better than Ned Stark's touch and not as insistent as Jaime's. There was no pressure. The water did not control her. It did not even try.

She thought of Rhaegar Targaryen, her sweet prince. She thought of Jaime Lannister, her sweet brother. She thought of King Robert and his Hand, Ned. None of them seemed to understand that women should be treated by men as equals.

Jaime entered, quiet as a shadow. He looked at her and grinned. "Is this a bad time?" he teased.

"If you're her to talk, then it is a bad time", she replied. "If not…"

Jaime's grin widened, and he approached the tub slowly. He knelt and kissed her. Cersei responded immediately, her mouth moving against his. His tongue soon pleaded for entrance, and she parted her lips for him. She suddenly remembered their first kiss. They were just kids, and they were playing. Their games had changed since then.

"I want you for myself", Jaime whispered in her ear and started planting soft kisses on her neck.

The truth was, Cersei wanted her brother for herself, but she wanted to experiment as well. She wanted to feel another woman's love. She was a bird, a little dove that wished to fly from place to place. As much as she wanted Jaime, as much as she loved him –because she did love him, no matter what—she was hungry for more.

Jaime's hand cupped her cheek, and they kissed again. His hand began to slowly move downwards. It spent a lot of time on her breast, feeling its weight, touching it, playing with the nipple until it ached. Then it moved downwards still, playing with the golden hair it met, barely stroking her sex.

Cersei broke the kiss and pushed Jaime away a little. Before he had time to act, she rose. She could feel droplets of water falling from her hair, her breasts, her womanhood. Her brother was staring at her as though a spell had stopped time for him and, frozen, he couldn't move. Cersei grinned. This felt so good.

"Don't you know it's rude to stare?"

"When you have a goddess before you, all you can do is stare."

Cersei's grin widened. Her brother surely had his way with words. He knew how to make a woman feel desirable even with a glance. That was one of his many virtues. And Cersei loved him for each and every one of them.

She got out of the tub and walked to him. He was still on his knees, as if swearing to protect her against all harm. He came closer to her and put his hands on her calves. He started kissing her long legs, making Cersei close her eyes. His lips were so soft. They felt like magic. White magic, dark magic –she didn't care. She loved it. She loved him.

His lips were on her inner thigh now and his hands on her butt. Cersei ran her fingers through his golden hair, then gave a nearly painful pull. Jaime looked at her, his eyebrows raised.

"I want to feel you inside me", she whispered.

Her brother couldn't refuse her anything. His clothes were gone in a few moments, and he was pushing her against the wall. He kissed her as though he was claiming her. She was his, of course. Especially in these moments of weakness, she was his entirely.

His lips trailed lower, finding her soft neck. He sucked the soft skin, even bit at it, as if marking her as his own. She wanted to wear it like a badge of honour, but she would have to cover it before anyone realized that she had a secret affair.

His mouth closed over one nipple, while his hand played with the other. She couldn't hold back her moans. She didn't want to, really. She wanted him to know how much she desired him. This was real, and she did not want him to have any doubts.

She sucked at the skin of his neck, while her fingers stroked his shoulders. All the tension was gone now that he was with her. All that power…

He grabbed her legs and wrapped them around his waist. He sank into her, and Cersei couldn't help but gasp. Oh, she felt whole now, complete. The two pieces joined together as one. How could this be considered wrong?

Jaime wasted no time in moving. He held her firmly by the waist, pulling her even closer to him. They both felt so hot. They could barely handle it. Their bodies were about to burst. Cersei put a hand on the back of Jaime's head and pulled him in a passionate kiss. Having Jaime's tongue in her mouth and his cock in her cunt was enough to take her over the edge.

She dug her nails in his shoulders, then drew bloody patterns on his back. Jaime groaned and released himself inside her with one powerful thrust. Cersei gasped, the heat unbearable, his love overwhelming.

"I love you, sweet sister", he whispered in her ear and nuzzled at her neck.

"I love you too."


	4. Chapter 4

**I meant to update earlier, but I had a lot of studying to do…I hope you won't be disappointed! If you are, well, don't be harsh, because it's my birthday! (Yes, 3 days after Lena Headey's…!)**

Chapter 4

Someone shook her gently. Cersei thought that it was her brother, but when she opened her eyes, she saw her husband. His grey eyes were kind and focused on her. She rubbed her eyes and smiled at him like a good lady wife. It was easy for her to pretend. That, in combination with her wits, would make her a good Queen.

"My lady", Ned Stark said, "I would like to apologize for spending so much time away from you."

"We have a new King now. He needs his councilors by his side. I have nothing to forgive."

"Is there aught I can do to make it up for you?"

_Bring Jaime here so that he'll fuck me_, she wanted to say. "I'd like a walk", she told him instead. "It's beautiful outside."

When Cersei was finally outside the castle, she felt so much better. Although the wolf Ned Stark was by her side, she enjoyed the warmth of the sun on her skin, the smell of goods, the fresh air, the bright blue sky. She remembered her walks with her brother, when they were younger. The first time she asked him, he wasn't really excited by the idea. That changed when they went outside, though. Jaime always enjoyed the sun, and he looked like an angel, his hair glowing like real gold, his green eyes shining like two bright emeralds. There was always some touching. He would offer her his arm or she would hold his hand. He would stroke her hair or she would kiss his cheek. And every time he chased her around and got her, he would tickle her to tears.

Cersei looked at her lord husband. He was good-looking and attractive, to be honest. But he wasn't like Jaime. No one was like Jaime. He did not seem to like the sun. He was sweating. He was used to the climate of Winterfell. Cersei couldn't understand how someone would enjoy living in that grey, cold, gloomy place.

"It's really sunny today", Ned Stark said. It almost sounded like a complaint.

"It's so beautiful", Cersei breathed.

The smallfolk bowed at their sight, wished them a good morning. They showed them respect, but Cersei would enjoy it more if she were the Queen. Now she was just the Lady of Winterfell. Why did the wrong people always sit the Iron Throne? She had nothing against King Robert, but her father deserved to be the King. He was everything a King should be.

"How is King Robert, my lord?" she asked. "Is he fit to be King?"

"I wouldn't have fought by his side otherwise."

_My brother was sitting on the Iron Throne, but you made him give it up. You could have become the King, but instead we have Robert now._

Maybe Ned Stark would be a good King, she thought. He was dutiful and calculating, just and honorable. But Jaime deserved it. He had killed the Mad King. He had killed one of the most terrible kings the realm had ever seen. His reward? Being called "Kingslayer".

"Of course not, my lord.", she said.

"My lord?" someone called.

Cersei and Ned turned around at the same time. Petyr Baelish was walking toward them proudly, as if he owned the world. He looked much greater and more important. Cersei was sure that this had been his intention. Ned's brother was Catelyn Tully's husband, and Littlefinger loved Catelyn Tully. He had challenged the Stark for her hand, ending up with a big scar and, most likely, a broken heart. Lady Catelyn had married the Stark, who was ruling Winterfell. Thinking of that made her realize that she wasn't the Lady of Winterfell.

"Lord Baelish", Ned greeted him coldly. "Is aught wrong?"

"Issues with Braavosi", Littlefinger replied. "The King went hunting with Ser Barristan, so your presence is necessary."

When she looked at her husband, Cersei noticed that he was a little disappointed. If he were the King, he wouldn't miss one single meeting of the small council.

"Very well", he said. He turned to his wife, kissed her on the lips briefly and muttered, " I'm sorry."

"I am sorry to take your husband away from you on such a fine day, my lady", Littlefinger said to her and smiled apologetically.

"The realm is calling", she said and smiled back at him.

In all honesty, she was glad to be left alone. She would have nothing to Ned or he to her. He did not like the weather, and this marriage hadn't been his choice. If things were the way she dreamed of, Jaime would be King, she would be his Queen, Ned Stark would be in Winterfell and maybe prince Rhaegar would still be alive.

A woman approached her and bowed. She had white hair and grey eyes. When she smiled at Cersei, her teeth proved to be red because of sourleaf. It was not something pleasant to look at, but Cersei steeled her heart and smiled at the woman.

"Good morning, Lady Cersei", she said. "I knew that you are beautiful, but never before have I had the honor to look upon your face."

Cersei's smile widened. Everything would seem beautiful to that woman, but Cersei had to be courteous. "You flatter me, good woman", she said.

"Your light brightens even Lord Eddard Stark."

Cersei was not so sure that this was true, but the smile never left her face, as if it was carved on her face. She did not hate Ned Stark, and it looked like he didn't hate her, but their marriage was not a delightful one. Lions and wolfs did not match. Lions preyed on almost everything and mated with other lions.

"Our marriage is most fortunate", Cersei said.

"It is", the woman agreed and took Cersei's hand in hers. Suddenly, she got serious, as if something had taken over her. She looked at Cersei with eyes of steel, seeing inside her very soul, cutting her like a knife. Cersei tried to pull herself free, but the old woman was too strong.

"You and your husband shall never dislike each other", she said, "but then you'll be cursed with gold."

Cersei finally managed to free herself of the old woman's hold. The woman looked surprised and concerned. She asked Cersei whether she was alright, for she must look scared. Cersei didn't like being scared, but she was. There was something wrong with this woman. She was creepy. She was weird. She was a person Cersei did not want to be close to.

Cersei returned to the castle, wondering: _How can gold be a curse? _


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Maybe she meant that we will lose our gold."

Jaime rolled his eyes. Cersei did not want to think about that old woman and her words, but her mind always wandered back there.…_but then you'll be cursed with gold_….What could that possibly mean? How could gold be a curse? When would she be cursed? And why?

"Then she wouldn't have said 'cursed _with_ gold'", Jaime replied, obviously sick and tired of this conversation.

Cersei looked at him. She always ran to him as a child to share her thoughts and problems with him. She had done the same now, but apparently, Jaime thought that the womam's words meant nothing. Cersei was not a supersticious person, but for some reason she couldn't get those words out of her head. Or the woman's face, unfortunately.

"I'm sorry", she said. "Let me make it up to you."

She kissed him fiercely and passionately, pressing her breasts against his chest. Jaime responded just as excitedly, and Cersei soon felt his manhood pressing against her. She knelt in front of him and unlaced his breeches. His cock was standing out like a mast. A _big_ mast. She bent over it.

Jaime moaned when she took him in her mouth, and his fingers ran through her golden curls. Cersei sucked and sucked like many times before. At a point, she pulled away completely in order to lick the tip. Then, she took all of him in her mouth, almost chocking herself. Her eyes were wet, but she blinked back the tears. She wanted the entirety of him in her mouth.

Jaime's hold on her tresses grew stronger and more insistent. He was just about to come, Cersei knew. She dug her nails in his hips. Jaime groaned and released himself inside her mouth. She swallowed everything he gave her. The first time she had found the taste of his seed a little unpleasant, but now she always took what he had to offer her.

She lapped at him, cleaning him up, and placed a soft kiss on his abdomen. She laced his breeches and stood up. Jaime wrapped his strong and protective arms around her, and she found the shelter she needed in his embrace. His heart was beating fast, but after a while their hearts were beating in the same rhythm as one.

"Your husband will be looking for you", he said bitterly.

"No", she said simply. "He has work to do."

Jaime took her in his arms and carried her to the bed, where he placed her gently. He lay next to her and wrapped his arms around her. Cersei remembered their childhood, when they slept in the same bed, their arms around one another. It was so beautiful. Cersei felt peaceful and serene. The old woman was forgotten.

"Do you love him?" Jaime asked.

Cersei looked at him, one eyebrow raised. Did the lion feel threatened by the wolf? This was interesting. And amusing.

"Ned Stark? He is my husband, and I shall bare his children, but I will never love him."

"Why don't you take some moon tea?"

Cersei did her best not to laugh. She couldn't control her lips, however, and she smiled. Jaime could be a fool when it came to the matters of the heart. When it came to her. And he could be very jealous as well. A lion jealous of a wolf.

"I have to give him heirs, or he'll find someone else."

"Then let him find someone else!" he said, his eyes bright. "Marry me!"

The smile melted off his face. They were lovers for quite some time now. They loved each other. They felt that they belonged together, and they did. But this was something else, something entirely new. New and bad. Cersei felt cold, even though it was a sunny day and Jaime's arms were around her. She opened her mouth, but no words came out.

"The Targaryens married brother and sister –"

"We're not the Targaryens!" she interrupted him. She could have been if she had married Rhaegar. But she was a Lannister, married to a Stark.

"I love you, and you love me", Jaime insisted. "I'll kill Ned Stark. I'll kill all the Starks. Just say that it's me you want."

Cersei stroked his cheek. The skin was warm and soft and smooth. Jaime took her hand in his and squeezed it gently. How could she refuse him when he looked at her like that? They were one person in two bodies. When they made love, their bodies united, and they were one. Whole. Complete. If she married him, they would be one in the sight of gods and men. No one would separate them. They would be together and die together, just like they had come into this world together.

"Of course I want you", she said. "I love you…But we can't do this. It's wrong. And Father would separate us, just like Mother did when we were playing. I cannot lose you. You're the only man I've ever loved, the only man I'll ever love. I need you by my side, but I can't be your wife. I'm Ned Stark's wife. You will have no wife."

"Another man will be fucking you until the end of his days. I joined the Kingsguard for you."

"I know, Jaime. And I love you even more for it. But I am a woman and sooner rather than later, I would be given to a lord. Only the silent sisters did not wed, but they don't speak either, and I'd be far away from you anyway."

Jaime refused to look at her. Why couldn't he understand? She could not be his wife, no matter how much she might want it. The Targaryens married brother and sister, indeed, but all the dragons were dead, and before their passing, half of them had been mad. Jaime had killed the Mad King after serving him faithfully and dutifully; he should have learnt something.

She leaned in to kiss him, but Jaime pulled back and released her from his embrace. He didn't say a word. He didn't even look at her. Cersei wanted to yell at him, to slap him. Why had she come to him anyway? How could her brother possibly help her? She was alone. A lonely lioness of the Rock. No one around to hear her roar.

She walked to the door and muttered, "You golden fool." She wasn't sure if she referring to Jaime or to herself.


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry for the late update, but I had a lot of studying to do…Still do actually…Hope you won't be disappointed!**

Chapter 6

She was sitting on the Iron Throne. People were praising her beauty, swearing loyalty to her, giving oaths of protection. Cersei looked at all of them, smiling. She had been born for this. To be the Queen. To rule the Seven Kingdoms. She deserved it after everything she had had to endure. Oh yes, the Iron Throne was hers.

She saw Jaime among the crowd. He stepped forward. He was in his Kingsguard armor. His presence brightened the entire Throne Room. Everyone stopped talking and focused their eyes on him. He was so beautiful. And he was hers. Jaime belonged to Cersei, and no one was supposed to separate them.

"Nice seat, sweet sister", he said mockingly. "Careful not to cut yourself."

Cersei slightly raised an eyebrow. She was his twin sister, his lover, his Queen; he had no right to speak to her like that. He should show her respect. He should kneel and become her sworn shield. This, however, was not a way to treat a queen. _The_ Queen.

Jaime kept walking toward her. He had a smug expression on his face. "Stop and bend the knee, ser", Cersei said, but it was no good. Jaime kept walking, proud and determined. He climbed the steps with the grace Kings should have and stood before her. He was towering over her. Although she was the Queen, sitting on the Iron Throne, she felt so small. Smaller than her brother Tyrion.

"You have come to me, my love", she whispered. "But you shouldn't have done this. It was disrespectful."

Jaime laughed. It was a rich sound, filling the entire room. "'My love'? When did you love me, Cersei? Never. You just wanted someone to play with and who would be better than someone who looks like you, you little narcissist!"

Cersei was trying so hard not to yell at him. He was disrespectful and disobedient. And he was acting like that in front of the court and the smallfolk. Why did he disgrace her so?

"I am your Queen!" she hissed.

Jaime leaned in and bit at her neck playfully. Before she had time to stop him, he had pulled back. He looked at her up and down disapprovingly. Cersei felt like a little girl. She felt like she was naked, but that was the first time that being naked in front of Jaime didn't feel good. He reminded her of Father. He was cold and calculating, just like Tywin Lannister. That made her feel even worse.

"You're not my Queen!" Jaime yelled and pulled a dagger. Cersei looked at him, afraid, but before she had time to think , her brother had stabbed her in the belly.

Cersei woke with a scream. Sweat was coating her body. She was panting. Stupidly, she looked at her belly, but there was nothing there. She felt no pain. She only felt like her heart would burst any minute now. It was beating so fast, threatening to jump right out of her chest.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and gasped. However, she turned her head and saw that it was just her husband. He looked genuinely worried. His grey eyes did not leave her green ones for a heartbeat. She slowly began to relax , and her breathing and the beating of her heart got back to normal.

"What is it?" he asked considerately.

She tried to think of the dream. She brought every detail back to her mind. She saw Jaime stabbing her again and again. _How could he do that?_ she wondered. _Doesn't he love me?_ Then she realized that it had all been a dream and didn't mean anything at all.

"I had a terrible dream, my love", she relied. "I…I don't want to talk about it."

Ned nodded and lay back once again. He opened his arms for her, giving her shelter. Cersei believed that armor and sword kept someone safe, but she rested her head on his muscular and a little scarred chest and let him wrap his arms around her all the same. Sleep, dreamless sleep too her shortly after that.

When she woke up, she was all alone. As a child, she was used to Jaime's presence. As a woman, she would have to get used to Jaime's absence –and, obviously, to Ned's absence as well. Her husband's behavior last night had surprised her, but it had felt good as well.

She rose and looked at her reflection in the mirror. She was still young, but she knew that sooner or later her skin would be all wrinkled, her breasts wouldn't stand out so proudly, her belly would not be flat, her hips would grow wider. And her hair, her beautiful long hair, would turn from Lannister gold to white.

She did not even bother to put on a robe. She did not want to leave that room. Some other woman would have run to Jaime, talked to him, begged his forgiveness, cried, blessed him with a million kisses. Not Cersei Lannister, though. She was too proud for that. She wouldn't go to him. He could go to her whenever he wanted to. _If_ her ever wanted to. She couldn't possibly care less.

When she laid on the bed, however, it was Jaime she thought of. When she put her hands on her breasts, she remembered Jaime. She played with her nipples the way Jaime did, the way she wanted it; gentle at first, insistent a little later. When one hand trailed lower, feeling her flat belly, playing with her golden curls, she imagined Jaime teasing her. When she pressed on her clitoris roughly, she pictured Jaime on top of her, making her even wetter than what she was. When she put two fingers inside her, she felt like Jaime had just entered her. Her fingers mover in and out, then in circles. She found that special bud of nerves and worked on it. She was coming, she could feel it. Her moans came out of her mouth uncontrollably. When she reached her climax, it was Jaime's name that she cursed and screamed.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

She didn't remember how long she and Jaime hadn't spoken to each other. She had lost count. Jaime did not even spare her a glance anymore. She wanted to yell at him, to hit him. She wanted to fall on her knees and beg and cry. She couldn't do either of those things, though. Jaime was a knight and she was a lady. She was a proud lioness. A lioness both beautiful and dangerous.

"You seem troubled, my lady", said Ned.

Cersei hadn't said a word during breakfast. Mother had separated her and Jaime when they were children. Cersei believed that they wouldn't be separated again. She had definitely never expected that the one would leave the other in their own will. This had saddened her greatly, and she didn't like that at all. She had other things to focus on. She had to be courteous at all times. She had to give heirs to her husband. A jealous brother who refused to talk to her was the last thing she wanted.

"Those clouds in the sky make me sad, that is all", she lied. "I want to see the sun again." _I want to see Jaime again._

It was pure torment, not seeing him. Days passed, but she didn't pay any attention to them. Her handmaids were all smiling and giggling, speaking of Cersei's husband, wishing the best for their marriage. Cersei barely said anything, and they never seemed to realize that her smiles were fake or that her eyes were glistening not out of happiness, but because of tears she could not allow herself to shed.

At least, Ned did not claim his right on her as her lord husband often. He was good to her, although his smiles didn't reach his eyes most of the times. He was a Stark and the Hand, with many responsibilities. Surely the presence of Littlefinger in the small council did not help improve Stark's mood. He had his problems, she had hers, and their bed was as cold as his dear Winterfell.

Cersei thought of Lyanna Stark. Gods, she was so lucky! She was married to Robert Baratheon, a lively man and the King. Jaime had been sitting on the Throne before Eddard Stark made him give it up. She would have married Jaime if he had been named the King. By sitting the Iron Throne and ruling the Seven Kingdoms, the world would be exactly as Jaime would want it to be. She would proudly declare her love for him, and he would take her for his wife and Queen, and they would have many beautiful children with golden hair and emerald eyes. No one would oppose the King. That was a dream that would never come true, she knew. But she had the right to dream.

One night, though, she couldn't dream. It was well past the hour of the wolf, but she was still awake. She had been feeling a little dizzy lately and she hadn't been in her best mood. She supposed that was because she missed Jaime so much. She didn't like that. What would happen if her brother went to war? Or if something else got between them anyway?

"I will never leave you", Jaime had told her once, when they were kids and he was sleeping in her bed, pressing her body close to his.

"Promise?" she had asked, the fool.

"I promise", he had replied and kissed her nose.

She had believed him. She hadn't stopped believing him until now. She had seriously thought that Jaime would always be with her. Together in the womb, together in life, together in death. But it wouldn't be like that now, would it? She had trusted him, she had fallen hopelessly in love with him, and now everything was a mess.

She looked at her husband. He looked like a green boy when he was sleeping. He was peaceful, tranquil, unburdened. She wanted to wake him, to tell him to fuck her so that she would forget. But even if she spread her legs for every single man in King's Landing, she wouldn't forget. Her mind would always go back to Jaime, their childhood, all the hot moments that had passed between them. He was the one who kept her safe no matter what. He was the one who had taught her what pleasure is.

She got out of bed quite as a snake and put a robe on. She looked at her husband for two heartbeats, then moved to the window. It wasn't dark outside, but dawn hadn't broken yet either. It was the moment between night and day, darkness and light. King's Landing was dead at this hour, a ghost town. It didn't feel right. King's Landing was all about sun and bright colors and halls filled with laughter.

Cersei felt sick.

_You don't eat, that's all_, she told herself. What else could it be?

"I love you", she imagined Jaime saying. "I will never leave your side."

But Jaime wasn't there to tell her that. He had left her side after all.

This time the feeling of sickness was worse. She tried to take deep breaths, to calm down, but nothing. She ran to the basin and vomited. She felt so weak and so disgusting. At least, she kept her beautiful blond hair back so that it wouldn't get stained. She felt hands on her shoulders, but she was too bust puking to see who it was.

When she was done and she felt that there was nothing left inside her, she grabbed a towel and wiped her mouth. What had happened to her all of a sudden? Missing Jaime could make her sad, but not sick as well.

Ned squeezed her shoulders. "My lady, what is wrong?" he asked considerately.

She breathed in and out deeply and slowly. She knew that this would happen one day. It was supposed to happen. Almost all her life had she known it. But she wasn't ready, she hadn't prepared herself, she hadn't even thought about it. She hadn't noticed that she hadn't bled for…what? One moon? Two moons?

She looked at her husband and announced, "I' m pregnant."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

When the King heard, he told Eddard to go hunting. His Hand refused, claiming that his place was by his King, by his friend, by his brother by blood. So, the King ordered Eddard to go hunting. And so, whether he liked it or no, the Hand of the King went hunting to celebrate his wife's pregnancy.

"I pray to the Gods that the kid won't be as cold as Ned", King Robert said.

_No, it will be a fierce lion_. Cersei smiled to the King. "I hope the Gods will listen, Your Grace", she said.

King Robert laughed and laughed. He clasped Cersei's hand, but Cersei felt nothing but the heat of his flesh. She didn't want him. She didn't want anyone…Well, almost. She still wanted Jaime. She was drawn to her brother like a moth drawn to flame. She knew what people think of incest, but she didn't care. She wanted him. She loved him. It didn't feel wrong to her.

But Jaime would never be hers again. So now she tried to live her life without him. She accepted people's wishes with sweet smiles, she laughed with their japes and even made a few herself. She pictured how the child might look like, making various combinations of genes. _And life goes on…_

Until she entered her chamber. He wasn't the only Kingsguard; there were six more men with white cloaks. But none of them had his golden hair. At first she thought that she had stepped into a dream. And such a dream would be so cruel. Dreaming of him and then waking up to find herself all alone…

When Jaime turned around and looked at her, however, she realized that she didn't care if that was a dream. She had the chance to look upon his face, and that was enough. There was something troubling him, and that made him look a little older than what he truly was.

"What are you doing here?" she asked coldly. _Why didn't you come to me much earlier?_

"I'm here to congratulate you. Great Lord Eddard Stark finally knocked you up, huh?"

She tried to remain calm. Sometimes she felt like she had the temper of a dragon. But she wasn't a Targaryen, nor would she ever be. But she was a Lannister. And a lion has claws. Hers were long and sharp. She wouldn't attack. Not just yet. Let her twin mock her. That would make her numb to any future offences.

Jaime sighed. "Look, sis, I'm sorry", he said, and Cersei knew that he was not lying. "I know that this is what you're supposed to do, but knowing doesn't make it any easier."

She didn't walk to him. There were barely any times that she went to him. She always let him come to her, and he always did. Just like he did this time. He walked toward her slowly, balancing and measuring every step, as if he were afraid she might use her claws on him.

"I love you, Cersei", he said and made a mover as if to touch her, but he stopped , and his arm fell on his side as if something dead.

Cersei looked at him, deeply in the eyes. She looked and looked. She wanted to reject him. He deserved that much. He deserved to suffer as she had suffered. But his eyes made it obvious that he had suffered too. That was why he looked older. He still was beautiful, though. Beautiful and irresistible and hers.

"Why don't you come here and show me?" she teased.

Jaime allowed himself a small grin. He came even closer to her, put his arms on her waist and kissed her. Cersei responded with no second thoughts, holding nothing back. She had missed him so much. Now that he was back, she was not going to let him go ever again. He was hers. He would always be hers.

"I love you", Jaime sighed and stroked her golden curls.

Cersei kissed him again. She did not want to speak. She wanted to feel him. They could talk later. Words are wind, after all. But a touch, a kiss –those are real. And she wanted to feel it. She wanted to feel him. Only him. He was the only thing that mattered. Just him.

"I missed you", she confessed.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry."

He kissed her again, desperate to drown in her and to wash away his mistakes. Cersei felt as if they were the only people left in the world. Nothing mattered. Not Eddard, nor the body growing inside her. She had forgotten everything. She was lost in Jaime.

Her hand trailer lower and found his cock. Jaime was hard and groaned as she started playing with his manhood over his breeches. Jaime's kiss became so passionate that Cersei felt like he would consume her. She didn't care, though. Being consumed, eaten alive by him would be the sweetest way to go.

"Tell me that you love me", she whispered seductively and gave his cock a squeeze.

Jaime groaned again, such a rich and stimulating sound. His eyes were unbelievably bright as he looked at her. She took a deep breath as their eyes locked. His gaze was so intent, so full of love. She could feel his eyes boring inside her, stripping her of any sanity and any morals left, burning her, slaving her heart, making her once again his.

"I love you so much that it hurts", he confessed, cupping her cheek. "I love you so much that it's insane. My love for you makes my blood boil and keeps me alive. I live for you, my sister and my lover. You are the only woman that I have ever wanted and the only woman that I will ever love."

She almost cried at the sound of his words. Maybe her eyes were wet. But she didn't want to cry. She wanted to play. So, she grinned and said, "I know. And I love you, sweet brother." She removed her hand from his cock. "But I have to punish you…No fucking for today."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Of course, Jaime's punishment couldn't last long. Her heart was screaming for him, her soul was looking for its other half. After their reunion, her body was aching for him more badly than ever. And no more than a day had passed.

Cersei Lannister broke her fast with King Robert Baratheon and Queen Lyanna Stark. Ser Barristan Selmy was inside the chamber, whereas Ser Jaime Lannister was outside. Cersei would love things to be the other way around, but she was just a lady, she couldn't tell the King what to do.

"How are you feeling today, my lady?" the Queen asked.

She was a Stark, but her eyes weren't cold. Rhaegar Targaryen himself had fallen for her, and Robert Baratheon as well. Lyanna Stark was beautiful, there was no doubt, but she seemed naïve to Cersei.

"Very well, thank you for asking, Your Grace", Cersei replied with an innocent and sweet smile. She took a sip of her wine and thought of Jaime. Oh, she would feel even better when her brother would pay her a visit.

After breakfast and with all due respect to the King and the Queen, Cersei exited the chamber. Jaime was still by the door, guarding the room. His armor was shiny and unscratched. He looked really god again, unconcerned, happy, innocent. Cersei knew that he wasn't innocent, though. She wasn't innocent either. She had never been innocent. She had lost her innocence in her mother's womb, where she had been with Jaime for nine months.

She kissed him on both cheeks, something that would seem innocent to anyone but didn't feel that way to them anymore. Jaime smiled at her but dared not make another move. Cersei knew that it was hard for him not to push her against the wall and kiss her breathless. Jaime didn't appreciate their situation as he should. He didn't care about the risk. She had to be careful for both of them.

"How was breakfast, sweet sister?"

"Really good, but…I care about dessert." She grinned and touched his arm.

An identical grin appeared on Jaime's face. Especially when they were kids, Cersei felt like she saw her own reflection when she looked at her brother. But Jaime was much more than just her reflection. He was her other half, her soulmate, the only person with whom she could communicate without words.

"You shall have it, my lady."

A Lannister always pays his debts, and Jaime stayed true to his promise. He came to Cersei that night, his armor off of course. She had even less on. Just a shift, hiding little and covering nothing really. Perfect to make Jaime's heart beat faster and his cock stir.

His arms were around her before she could think. But thinking was unnecessary and useless now. She just needed to feel him, to be whole. They kissed like two people gone insane, like two people possessed by a demonic, _lustful _spirit. She felt like she had been wandering in a desert for days and days and days and Jaime was the water that would slake her thirst.

"I love you", she sighed. She didn't want him to have any doubts on that matter.

Jaime's smile was enough to lighten her bedroom and he covered her mouth with his once again. His hands were everywhere. His fingers ran through her golden hair, he cupped her breasts, his thumbs played with her nipples. Cersei moaned in a state of bliss, her nipples aching, her cunt wet. She needed him inside her.

When his hand reached her belly, though, it stopped moving and he broke the kiss. Was this a game? Cersei didn't like this kind of games. She looked at her brother crossly, ready to roar like the proud lioness that she was ought to do.

"Is it…safe?" Jaime asked. He looked concerned. "I…I don't want to hurt the baby."

Cersei hadn't expected her twin to care about Eddard's child, especially after their break-apart. But it was her child as well, and Jaime did not want to hurt her, she knew that. She loved that about him. He wanted to protect her no matter what, no matter the circumstance, no matter the cost. He was willing to deprive himself from the pleasure of their lovemaking so as not to harm her.

Cersei, however, was not willing to do that. The passion, the desire, the lust burned her from the inside out. Only Jaime could save her. Only with him inside her could she feel whole and complete. Only with him inside her could she feel free.

She took the shift off and let it fall on the cold floor of her chamber. Jaime looked at her from tip to toes, pausing sometimes to admire certain parts of her body. Cersei didn't blush, but she did bite her lip. She wanted to see him too.

"It's safe, Jaime. Please, I need you!"

He was naked within moments.

She threw him on the bed and joined him slowly. She wanted to make him wait, to appreciate what he had better. And he did, looking at her as if she were a beautiful jewel, the most precious thing in the world, the Maiden herself.

She sat on his thighs, kissing him, playing with his nipples, taunting him. She wasn't just going to give it to him like some common whore. She wanted his desire to build up until he could take no more. She wanted to play with him in ways only a woman can play with a man. He had the sword, but in bed and in the matters of the heart, she had the real power.

Of course, she couldn't torment him forever. There came a moment when Cersei Lannister gave in. She lowered herself onto him, pushing him into her slick heat, moaning. Jaime allowed his head to loll back and groaned, sending a shiver through her before she began to rock on top of him.

At first Jaime's hands remained on her waist, letting her ride him on her own. Cersei dragged her nails across his chest, making him moan and herself tremble. After that, Jaime helped her hips down with his arm, his free hand exploring her body with no certain destination. He teased her breast for quite a while, then traced the rest of her pale skin.

"Oh, Jaime…" she moaned.

He thrust his hips up forcefully so as to drive deeper. Cersei gasped and whined. Both of them were close, she knew it. Just a little longer and the world would be stars exploding and lions roaring and dragons breathing fire.

Cersei screamed his name and clenched around him, bringing him with her over the edge. Jaime screamed her name right back. She gasped as he released himself inside her, then collapsed forward. Jaime pushed her hair back and kissed her brow tenderly. Despite her heavy panting, she managed to smile. Their hearts were beating fast and they were beating as one.


	10. Chapter 10

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**Chapter 10**

Jaime and Cersei spent quite a few nights of hot and tumble. They made pledges of eternal love. They held on to each other as if the one would go, disappear in a puff of smoke, vanish if the other let go. Cersei's whole world was Jaime. Her husband was forgotten, as though he had never been part of her life…

…until he returned from his hunt. Cersei was sad to see him. His return meant that Jaime wouldn't keep her warm at night, the two of them locked in their passionate lovemaking embrace, their limbs tangled after it till sweet sleep came. She would have a wolf in her bed again. And in a few months she would bring his little pup to the world.

"I think that a whore is in love with me", Jaime said.

Cersei laughed. "You sound like our little brother."

Jaime chuckled and kissed her cheek. "No, seriously", he carried on. "She told me that she would shower me with kisses and fuck me for free."

She laughed again. She touched his arm as she laughed. She felt much younger that day. She hadn't laughed that much since she was little. And, of course, back then, it had been Jaime who made her laugh like that.

"Well, I should be jealous then", she said after hiccoughing herself back to seriousness. "You shouldn't be the only one feeling like this."

Jaime looked at her, but all the cheerful mood was gone from his eyes. It was now replaced by…sadness…disappointment…some self-loathing and anger perhaps. "Cersei-"

She broke into laughter again. "Can't I tease my beloved brother?" she wondered and tickled him.

Right at that moment, Eddard Stark entered the chamber he was sharing with his wife. Cersei stopped playing with her brother. When she saw him from the window riding back to King's Landing, she had expected him to run to his dear Robert and return to her hours later. Apparently, she had not been entirely right.

"My love", she said and rose from the bed, where she had been sitting next to Jaime. She walked to Ned and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"How is the baby?" he asked. "How are you feeling?'

"The baby is fine and so am I. I am even better now that you are back to me."

Ned nodded and rested his hands on her shoulders. Then he looked at Jaime. Cersei looked at them both. It seemed to her that they were competing on who would have the coldest look. The room suddenly felt cold, as if the temperature had dropped greatly.

"Lord Stark."

"Ser Jaime."

The Wall would be warmer than this room.

Jaime stood on his feet and approached Cersei. "Good day, sis", he said and kissed the top of her head. Then, he turned to Eddard, looked at him from head to toes, nodded and left. The room felt empty all of a sudden.

"You're very close", Eddard noted.

_Closer than you think._ She and Jaime were more than just close. They were one. If incest were indeed wrong, a sin, Cersei would like to find salvation, to be forgiven when she was very old. She didn't care if she ended up burning in the deepest of the seven hells. First she would have had beautiful moments with Jaime, and then her brother would be right there, burning with her.

"He's my brother", she replied, smiling.

Eddard noted but didn't say a word. Cersei didn't speak either. No, there was no way her husband could possibly know. She had always been very careful, even when Jaime only wanted to declare his love for her for the whole world to hear.

"How was hunting?" she asked finally, the silence awkward and unbearable.

Eddard shrugged. "It was fine, I suppose. It had always been Robert who liked hunting."

_What do you like, my lord? Can I give it to you?_ She looked at him. _Or are you so cold that you feel nothing?_

She nodded, biting her lip. Talking with her husband had always been easy, comfortable, enjoyable. Talking with her husband, however, was not. Ned would make a good King, she realized. He would be feared and respected, he would silence people with a glance. He wasn't an ambitious man, though. He didn't care about glory and the Throne. Neither did Jaime. Nevertheless, Cersei did.

However, her wings had been cut off before she had time to fly. Rhaegar had been killed. She had been given to the Hand of the King…She couldn't be Queen.

As she was thinking of those things, Cersei felt dizzy. Ned seemed to notice and sense her discomfort, for he put his arms on her waist, holding her firmly. Cersei closed her eyes until she felt better. She had never expected it, but her husband's touch was smoothing…


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Cersei Lannister was not a supersticious person, but she found it odd that she had a nightmare after her husband's return.

She was in bed with Jaime. They had just had sex, she knew it. They were naked as their name day; she could feel some sort of bliss; they were panting. She didn't know how to explain it, but she didn't feel pregnant. It was like…a burden had been lifted off of her.

Her brother pulled her closer to him, and she rested her head on his chest. His heart was still beating fast. It was beating for her. She knew that Jaime was hers, body and soul. Only hers.

"I love you", he sighed.

"I know."

She looked at him and saw herself. Not even Father could tell them apart when they were little. Things had changed, _they _had changed, but they still were one, each other's shadow. The knight and his lady. The lion and the lioness. Two golden sinners.

This was exactly what they were, but she didn't care. As long as they didn't get caught, she didn't care. No one else would ever love her like Jaime, she was sure of it. No one else would pleasure her like Jaime, she knew. When she and Jaime made love, two halves of a whole became one.

She kissed him passionately and tasted something liquid in his mouth. It had a salty, coppery taste.

When she broke the kiss, she knew what it was. It had stained her lips and chin. Jaime was coughing blood. Cersei didn't know what to do. She wanted to scream; they couldn't be found like this, though. Besides, she found no voice inside her. She couldn't even whisper soothing words to her brother.

Her brother reached out for her and pulled her into a kiss. She tried to pull back, but somehow Jaime was too strong. He was coughing blood inside her mouth, choking her, killing her.

That was when she woke up screaming. This time, her husband wasn't there to comfort her. One of her two handmaidens ran to her instead and knelt beside her. Cersei was breathing hard and the dream had shaken her, so it took her a while to realize who was with her.

"Lady Cersei? Are you alright?"

She tried to relax. It was just a dream, it didn't mean anything. If something bad had happened to her brother, she would know, she would have felt it. He wouldn't go without her. He couldn't. No.

"Where is my brother?" she asked hysterically. "Bring him to me!"

When she rose from the bed, she went to the basin and vomited. Her anxiety made her feel even more nauseous. She knew that her brother was fine, but the dream had been so terrible that she needed to see him, to touch him.

She put on a robe. The fabric felt so good and soft, like million tiny kisses all over her cold body. She sighed and touched her belly. The baby had grown, but she felt that she was the only one who cared about it. Ned was constantly absent. Any other time, she would have been grateful. Now, she hated him for not being in bed beside her. Of course, the one she really wanted, _needed_ beside her was Jaime. But their love was forbidden.

When her handmaiden returned with her brother, she ran in his arms immediately, not waiting for the girl to leave. She barely heard the door close after. All she cared about was Jaime. Jaime, Jaime, Jaime. He was there. He was real. He was hers.

"What's wrong, sis?" he asked chuckling. "No sex?"

She looked up at him. When he saw the tears, the smile melted off his face. "What's wrong?" he asked again, worried this time.

"I…I had a terrible dream…You were dying…and I was dying with you…"

Jaime pressed her face against his chest, right where his heart was beating. One hand ran through her golden hair, whereas he used the other to caress her back. Cersei began to relax. This was stupid, she told herself. It had been a dream, nothing more.

Then why did her heart threaten to shatter into a million pieces?

"Shh, it's okay", Jaime whispered as the tears kept running. "It was just a dream. I'm still here, living for you. I won't leave you."

She closed her eyes, blinked away the new tears that were threatening to fall. She took a deep breath and looked up at him. "You promise?" she asked.

"I promise", he said, nodding.

They kissed tenderly. It was one of the few times that Cersei did not want to deepen the kiss. It wasn't passion that she wanted. It was love. Love and comfort. If she wanted passion, she could have fucked and been fucked by her handmaiden. She could asked for her husband, wherever the hell he was.

She needed her other half.

"I love you, I love you, I love you", she kept saying as if it were a prayer, a spell that would bind them together forever.

"I love you, too", he said and kissed the top of her head, where he could place a crown.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Two months passed with no nightmares. Ned tried to be with her as often as he could. Cersei had to admit that she was grateful for it. Her brother couldn't be by her side all the time, so having her husband beside her oft times made her feel less lonely.

She wasn't feeling so sick anymore either, and she was very grateful for that. There were times that she just wanted to give birth to the baby and be done with it.

Lyanna Stark was pregnant as well and enjoyed talking with Cersei for hours, even touching her belly. Cersei didn't like it. She didn't feel really comfortable with all this proximity. Lyanna was a naïve little girl. She was the Queen, but that had never been her wish.

Cersei envied her.

When her father told her that she would be married to Eddard Stark, she had been pleased. He was the Hand of the King. But now that did not mean a thing to her. Robert Baratheon would have been better. Not only because he was the King –although that was an important factor- but because of his personality as well. That man knew how to live his life. He wouldn't be able to replace Jaime in her heart, but maybe he would be able to replace him in her bed.

Cersei's handmaiden was combing her hair. She often helped Cersei wear her hair in ways and styles that she had never tried or even seen before.

"How are you feeling today, lady Cersei?" the handmaiden, Tyta, asked.

"I am fine, my dear, thank you…And you? Have you stolen any man's heart yet?"

Tyta smiled and looked down. Cersei could tell that she was blushing. She looked very cute. "No, my lady", she replied.

Tyta was not beautiful, but she was pretty. She had brown hair and brown eyes. There was nothing special about her, but she had a sweet face…and big breasts. Cersei wished that she had breasts like Tyta's. Jaime seemed to like them a lot just the way they were, but Cersei wouldn't mind if they were a little bigger.

"Do you like my brother, Tyta?" Cersei asked suddenly.

Tyta looked at her, evidently confused and surprised by the question. "My lady?"

"Do you like my brother? Do you think that he's handsome? Do you want to feel his throbbing manhood between your legs, inside your cunt? Do you think of my brother when you touch yourself?"

Tyta seemed to be offended and embarrassed. She stopped combing Cersei's hair. Cersei did not really wait for a reply. She knew that her brother was one of the most handsome men in all of Westeros. She had seen women pass out merely because they had had the chance to see him.

She rose from her chair and approached her handmaiden. "You know, I am just like my brother. Our only difference is what we have between our legs.", she said mischievously.

Her handmaiden looked at her. Before she had time to react, Cersei was kissing her. This felt good. It wasn't really so different from kissing a man, except that now she felt other breasts against her own.

She had taken Jaime's place many times when they were little. This time was definitely the best.

So this was how it felt when she pressed her breasts against Jaime…She was truly her brother now. She could feel the way he felt, touch what he touched, taste what he tasted.

"My lady", Tyta breathed.

Cersei grinned. "Didn't you like it?' she teased.

Tyta blushed. "Of course, my lady", she replied. "But…"

"But it's wrong?"

Tyta hesitated, then nodded.

Cersei laughed. People kept telling her that things she did were wrong. But what was said to be wrong felt so good. A mistake doesn't feel good, does it? The Gods had given to humans lips and tongues and cunts and cocks to do with them whatever they pleased. If Cersei wanted to fuck her brother, why should that be forbidden? If Cersei wanted to fuck her handmaiden, why should that be considered wrong?

"My lady, I'm here to serve you", Tyta said. "But…you're pregnant. Only your husband should give you a release."

Cersei nodded and stroked Tyta's hair for a moment. "Now that you mentioned it, where is my husband?"

Just at the moment, the door opened, and Eddard Stark the room. Tyta bowed to him, Cersei smiled for him. Ned nodded to both of them, tired and grim.

What a surprise.

Cersei gave her handmaiden permission to go and looked at her husband when the door closed. She walked to him slowly. Ned took her hand in his, but seemed to do that rather absent-mindedly.

"What is wrong, my love?" she asked.

"The King organized a tourney for my sister's pregnancy."

"That's great news!"

Ned shook his head. "No, Cersei, it isn't. The rebellion cost us a lot, and Robert hasn't been King long enough to gain money to spend. We'll have to ask for a loan."

Cersei tried not to smile. She was sure that the King would ask for money from the richest family: the Lannisters. Her father wasn't the King, but he would be able to control him through the debt. Furthermore, that prove to everyone that House Lannister was richer and more powerful than any other House and that even the King in the capital needed help from the lions of the Rock.

"A Lannister will pay for the tourney, a Lannister will win the tourney", Ned told Cersei bitterly. "I forgot to mention: your brother shall definitely take part in the tourney."

This time, Cersei smiled.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Two weeks passed, and the tourney was still going. Ned hadn't wanted Cersei to be present, afraid that the sun might daze her, perhaps also because he didn't want her to see violence and death. But death is the only certain thing in this world. Besides, Cersei wanted to see her brother.

He was waiting for her outside her chamber. He looked so handsome and fearless, like the Warrior himself, ready to defeat all his opponents. Cersei was so proud of him.

"Good morrow, sis", he said and offered her one of his most alluring smiles.

"Good morrow, sweet brother", she said and mimicked him.

He offered her his arm and she took it more than willingly. Cersei was absolutely sure that they looked so beautiful and perfect right now. She held her head up high, and they started walking arm in arm.

"Why won't Lord Stark do us the honor to compete?" Jaime asked.

Cersei shrugged. "He was against the tourney from the beginning. He did not want the realm to be in debt so soon. He doesn't want the realm to be in debt anyway."

"He's not fond of our family", Jaime observed.

"Of course not. Our marriage hasn't changed that."

At least he wasn't violent. Someone else feeling like that about the Lannisters would probably be beating her constantly. Eddard Stark was honorable and dutiful. Even if Tywin Lannister had killed a friend or a relative of him, Ned would still show her the respect that a husband should show his wife.

All of a sudden, Jaime kissed Cersei behind her ear. Cersei turned her head so quickly that her neck could have broken. "What are you doing?" she whispered hysterically.

Jaime shrugged and didn't stop walking. "I kissed you", he replied. "I love you."

"Shhhh! Someone might hear you!"

Jaime shrugged again, something so simple but gracious. "So? I don't care."

"But I do!"

There were times that Cersei just wanted to slap her brother on the head as though he were a little boy. How could he not care? How could he not understand?

"Hey, relax, I won't do it again!"

Cersei looked at him and nodded when she was absolutely sure that he meant it. "So, are you ready for today?" she asked.

"I was born ready", Jaime replied and straightened his back so much that his chest stood out.

She chuckled and stroked his hand.

When they finally reached the tourney grounds, Jaime stroked her hair and left in order to get ready. Just when Cersei took her seat, someone sat next to her, and she knew that he was neither her brother nor her husband.

"Good morrow, Lady Cersei."

She looked at him and greeted him, "Good morrow, Lord Baelish."

He took her hand and placed it on his lips. Cersei smiled. A lady always had to remember her courtesies. Especially when men like Littlefinger were around. He could be a very useful ally, but also a very dangerous enemy. He only cared about the game of thrones, not about the pieces. Cersei had to look innocent and unselfish, especially to someone like him.

"Isn't Lord Stark coming?" he asked. His mouth tightened for less than a heartbeat, but Cersei noticed. She couldn't blame him. Brandon Stark was Catelyn Tully's husband. If he had met the same fate as his father, Eddard Stark would be Catelyn Tully's husband now.

"Of course he is", she replied. "he just wanted to spend some time with his sister. He is coming with the King and the Queen."

"I understand…So you came with your brother instead."

"He didn't want me to come alone, and my dear brother trusts him."

"You seem _very_ close."

Cersei did not even blink. It was like her smile had been carved on her face. Littlefinger was a smart man; she had to be more careful than usual. She had been very cautious for so long . She couldn't let Littlefinger ruin it.

"He is my brother, Lord Baelish."

"Of course he is. When children live together, they tend to get _very_ close."

"Indeed. And you lived with Catelyn and Lysa Tully when you were kids, isn't that right?"

Littlefinger was smiling as well, but his eyes were cold and Cersei thought that there was a hint of rage inside them. He wasn't the only one who could pay. Cersei could play as well.

"Yes, that's right, my lady", he said, calm as still water.

"Cersei?"

She turned her head and saw her husband. She couldn't believe how grateful she was of his presence. The originally pleasant encounter with Littlefinger had turned into an uneasy conversation and a wit war between the lioness and the mocking bird.

"My love."

Ned took his seat next to her and kissed her lightly on the lips. Many times Cersei wondered whether there would ever be some passion between them. Was he cold or did she have to do something? What could she do?

He placed a hand on her belly and asked, "How are you feeling?"

She had lost count of the times he posed that question. She found it a little ridiculous. She was just pregnant. And she still had to wait for months until the pup would come out. However, she smiled and stroked the hand on her belly.

"I'm fine", she said.

She and Ned spoke about Lyanna. Ned and Littlefinger spoke about the realm in general, the King, the small council, the tourney, the debt to the Lannisters. Cersei barely paid any attention to all this. There was a woman talking about her brother. She boasted about having an affair with him. Cersei knew that Jaime hadn't even kissed any woman but her.

After that, she didn't focus her hearing on any conversation in specific. But as she heard words from the people all around her, she thought she heard, "…cursed with gold…"

No. No, she had merely heard spare words and the combination of them created that phrase. She was being crazy. That old woman had been crazy.

She was lost in thought, but all of a sudden she heard, "…Ser Jaime Lannister against Ser Gregor Clegane!"

Her heart skipped a beat. Her brother was going to compete against the Mountain!


	14. Chapter 14

I know I've been away for too long, but I had A LOT of studying to do, and something sad drained all my inspiration. As an apology for the late update, here are some really beautiful videos!

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**Chapter 14**

"Stop this!" she wanted to yell at anyone who would listen. She didn't say anything, though. If she stopped this, she would disgrace her brother. He was called "the Kingslayer". She didn't even want to think what people would call him if she acted. So, she just watched her brother and, for the first time after so long, she prayed. She prayed to the Warrior to give him strength. She prayed to the Mother to save him.

Jaime looked so handsome, riding his horse as if he was the king of the world, saluting the cheering crowd with a modest wave of his hand. Everybody, especially the women, loved him. Some, of course, cheered without really meaning it. He was, after all, the KIngslayer.

No one pretended to feel something about the Mountain. They all felt fear. You could smell it in the air. Everyone was afraid of him, and why shouldn't they? Gregor Clegane –_Ser _Gregor Clegane—was huge and wild as a beast. Cersei suddenly remembered the Mountain severing the head of a previous opponent, almost cutting it off with nothing but his fucking lance.

She grasped Eddard's hand.

She was afraid. Afraid of the Mountain and afraid for her brother. Ned squeezed her hand gently and patted it with his other hand. He only managed to enrage her. She wasn't a little child to be patted, to be told comforting words, to be told a bedtime story. She was a woman grown. Her monster was not hiding under the bed; it was in front of her, thirsty for the blood of her brother.

Ned leaned in and spoke in her ear. "I know you're afraid, my lady, but the Mountain will be careful this time. Your brother is in the Kingsguard and a Lannister; if the Mountain kills him, he'll die next."

Cersei wasn't sure whether it was the logic of the words or the fact that they weren't the typical words of comfort –"Your brother is a brave man", "He's a lion", "The Gods are on your brother's side, for they always favor the just and honest ones"—but she felt better. Her husband was right. Furthermore, if Jaime got injured, their father could afford to pay any master, any cure, even to sail him off somewhere else. He wouldn't die.

The grasp on Ned's hand relaxed, but for some reason, unbeknownst even to her, she didn't let go. Holding his hand made her feel a little better somehow. Besides, the people had to see them happy and in love. She gave the crowd what they wanted, what she had to give. Right?

Cersei hadn't even seen her brother put his helm on. But now it was in place, hiding his beautiful face from her. Would his face be the same after this tourney? Would they still be the same or would she look at him and see a stranger instead of her brother, instead of herself?

After Ser Jaime Lannister and Ser Gregor Clegane showed their respect to the King and his Queen, they took their places. They were given a lance and a shield. Jaime's shield, of course, was crimson and had a golden lion on it. For the first time ever, this image worried Cersei. It seemed to her that Jaime was the golden lion and the color of crimson represented his blood.

She took a deep breath when her brother put his heels between his horse's ribs.

Ned was still holding her hand, bit she couldn't feel it anymore. She couldn't feel anything. She could only hear her heart beating fast and loud like a drum. Would the tip of the Mountain's lance be the end of Jaime's life?

The gallery trembled as the horses broke into a gallop, and so did Cersei. The Mountain leaned forward as he rode –Cersei had this terrible feeling that he had also bared his teeth—his lance steady as a rock. Jaime, however, shifted his seat right before the impact. The Mountain's point was turned harmlessly against Jaime's shield, while his own hit square. Wood shattered, and the Mountain reeled , fighting to keep his seat. Cersei grinned.

The Mountain managed to stay in his saddle, after all. He jerked his mount around hard, as if the poor animal had anything to do with him almost falling, and rode back to the lists for the second past. Jaime threw his broken lance and grabbed a new one, saying something obviously funny to his squire, for the boy laughed. The Mountain growled as he spurred forward at a hard gallop. Jaime rode to meet him, and Cersei watched him with bright eyes. He would win. Would she be his queen of beauty?

As Cersei had expected, Jaime shifter his seat. Unfortunately, so did Gregor Clegane. Both lances exploded. Cersei gasped. When the splinters settled, she noticed that Jaime's horse had no rider.

Jaime rolled in the dirt. Cersei watched him, her eyes wide. She squeezed Ned's hand so much that she could have broken something. She didn't care, though. Her brother and lover had fallen off his horse. She couldn't see what had happened to him.

Her heart was beating so fast that she couldn't hear anything but it. Maybe Ned spoke to her. Perhaps Littlefinger as well. The crowd must have reacted –cheers, applause, screams, something. She didn't know, though. Everything was a blur. All she could see was Jaime on the ground. All she could hear was her heart.

Jaime tried to get on his feet, but he couldn't. The helm had fallen on the ground too, so Cersei could see his face, his grimace of pain. Gods, she could see blood as well!


	15. Chapter 15

I want to thank everyone for your support! You can't imagine how much it means to me! Thanks a lot! This is the last chapter! I would appreciate it if you told me what you think and kept reading my stories!

Chapter 15

She could feel her brother's pain as if it were her own. The sight of blood scared her. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't lose Jaime.

"Cersei?"

She didn't respond.

"Cersei?"

She didn't react this time either, so Ned grabbed her by the arms and turned her around to face him almost violently. She didn't fight. She didn't even protest. She didn't have the strength. Not anymore. She was ripped apart. Could someone sew her pieces back together?

"Come on", Ned said. "Let's go. He will be taken care of."

She wanted to say no. She wanted to stay. She wanted to go to her brother, to see how he was, to speak words of comfort to him. She couldn't do a thing , though. She wasn't feeling well. She felt so weak, so fragile. So numb. She couldn't hear what anyone said. She looked, but she didn't see.

Suddenly, the world began to spin. Cersei couldn't hold on. She thought that Ned stroked her cheek right before darkness swallowed her.

She was holding his hand. It was so cold that she felt as if she was holding the Stranger's hand, not Jaime's.

"I'm dying, sweet sister", he whispered.

She shook her head. She wasn't crying, she didn't feel like she would start crying sooner or later, but Jaime's pain was her pain. She felt like she was dying. Which meant that Jaime was indeed dying.

"We came into this world together; we're going to leave it together", she said.

Jaime didn't seem strong enough to respond. He gave her a weak smile, and that was all for a while. Cersei was even afraid to squeeze his hand. She felt helpless, useless, and she hated that.

Finally, he spoke. "I'm leaving…forever…Will you follow me?"

Jaime's eyes were empty of emotion. His hand felt colder. His body was still. His weak breathing was the only sign that he was still alive.

When Cersei said that they were going to leave this world together, she hadn't meant that she would join him in death. However, she had a knife in her hand, and although she had no idea how it had ended up there, she began to seriously think of using it.

She looked at Jaime one last time. Yes, she had to do it. She had to follow him. It was the right thing to do. It was the only thing that she could do.

She raised her arm and sank the knife into her belly, hilt deep. There was so much blood. The baby had died already of course. As Jaime drew his last breath, so did she.

And that was when she woke up. Alerted, she looked around, but she found no blood, thank the Gods. She touched her forehead, but the liquid there was nothing but sweat.

Jaime didn't die that day or any of the many days that followed. He had broken his leg, and he had a few scratches on his face, which healed long before the leg did. At first, he was walking unevenly and needed a stick, but in the end he had managed to walk again as proudly as he had been walking all his life. He was a true Lannister.

Cersei, on the other hand, was getting worse as time went by. Being pregnant was not easy, but she was a proud lioness, so she never complained. She had her husband and, occasionally, her brother. She had her handmaiden, Tyta, on whom she had thrown up twice.

The baby coming out was probably the happiest moment in her entire life. It was finally, _finally_ over. She couldn't understand how other women had more than one.

And then she understood.

When she was given her baby, she knew the reason. He –her son—looked like an angel. And he was looking at her with his emerald eyes. He reached out to touch her hair, which was of the exact same color as his.

That was when she realized that she had been crying.

Ned kissed her cheek, then he kissed the baby's brow. He thought that he was the father obviously. Everyone thought so. What else could they possibly think? They were wrong, though.

The baby was Jaime's son. It was his seed, Cersei had no doubt about that. The baby looked exactly like her, which meant that it looked exactly like Jaime. It did not look one bit like Ned.

Because it wasn't Ned's.

Cersei's husband, however, didn't seem to suspect that. Which was good. If he knew…

Jaime wanted to be with the baby all the time. Cersei understood why, but her twin brother could not comprehend why that couldn't happen. He was supposed to be the baby's uncle; he couldn't spend much time with his son. People would get suspicious. The hens always loved good gossip.

She allowed him to come to her chamber one day early in the morning when Ned had been summoned by the King. Jaime kissed her the moment he saw her, and she could taste his tears between their lips.

He held the baby in his arms as if it could break with most of ease. He talked to it, he played with it, he kissed it. Cersei watched father and son, and smiled. This was how it had always been supposed to be.

Cersei lost track of time and let Jaime stay far longer than she had planned.

When Jaime carefully gave her the baby, she let it rest, putting it gently in its cradle. It had fallen asleep in Jaime's arms. Its father's arms.

She turned around and looked at her brother and lover. Their son would look exactly like him when he grew up, she was certain of it. She hoped that inside he would be more like her, someone who thinks before he acts, someone who considers the consequences. Unlike Jaime.

But she loved her brother despite his flaws and perhaps for his flaws. And when his mouth covered hers again, she damned the consequences just as he always did.

Suddenly, the door opened.

It was Ned.

He had caught his wife kissing her brother with uncontrollable passion.

He looked at them.

He looked at the sleeping baby.

"I knew it", he whispered, and his words were filled with anger.

Cersei had never seen him like that before.

Jaime let go of her and took one step closer to Eddard. "Listen, Stark—" he started reasonably.

But Stark wouldn't listen.

It all happened so fast. Eddard had his knife out of its sheath on his belt in no time. Jaime barely had any time to register what was happening. He tried to defend himself, but he had no sword, no armor to protect himself.

The knife found him below the chest.

Jaime fell on the floor, blood oozing from his wound.

Ned looked at his hands and let the knife fall on the floor with a clatter.

Cersei shrieked and fell on her knees next to Jaime.

The baby woke up and began to cry.

"What have you done?" she yelled at her husband.

When she looked up at him, she noticed that he was at a loss. His arms, stained by Jaime's blood, were still raised. He had an odd look on his face, as though everything had been wiped off his head.

Cersei looked at Jaime again. He was losing so much blood. He was white as a sheet and cold as a corpse. "Cersei…" he whispered. "Love…you…"

"We came into this world together", she whispered, remembering the dream, "we're going to leave ti together."

She took the knife in her hand. Jaime's blood was on the hilt. Soon, it wouldn't be the only one.

"I love you", she told him, and this time she meant it more than any other.

She took a deep breath and plunged the knife in her heart.


End file.
